Tag: memoir

My guest today is Eva Nevarez St. John whose memoir, When Tough Cookies Crumble: A True Story of Friendship, Murder and Healing was published on 30th July 2024. Read on as I chat with Eva about her book and the story behind it.

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About the Book

Two tough cookies. Breaking barriers in careers and love. Until one is murdered…

Janice Starr and Eva Booker became best friends when they met as soldiers in the Women’s Army Corp in Korea in 1978. In a time of rapid social change, they tested the limits of women’s liberation and the sexual revolution.

After they moved to Washington D.C. together, Janice and Eva supported each other as they faced the challenges of continuing their military careers in the Army Reserves, navigating jobs, going to school, and dating. Their friendship went through ups and downs, but their bond was never broken.

In the summer of 1981, Janice moved to southern Virginia on her own. Three months later she disappeared without a trace. Eva knew who was responsible for Janice’s disappearance, but the only one who believed her was Detective Kay Lewis. Another tough cookie, Detective Lewis overcame the obstacles put in her way by her colleagues and superiors to pursue Janice’s killer and find Janice.

Find When Tough Cookies Crumble on Goodreads

Purchase When Tough Cookies Crumble from Amazon

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Interview with Eva Nevarez St. John, author of When Tough Cookies Crumble

When Tough Cookies Crumble is based on your own personal experiences. What inspired you to turn them into a book?

The book is about the murder of one of my best friends in 1981. The lead detective in the case contacted me in 2019 about writing a book. Initially, we worked on it together, but later she decided to have a man write it. I didn’t want the book to just be about Janice’s murder and I didn’t trust a man to write her story. That’s why I had to write my own book about our friendship, our experiences as female soldiers, what led to her murder, and the process of healing from the trauma through the writing of the book.

Tell us a bit about your friend Janice. How did you first meet? What drew you to each other? What did you admire about her?

Janice and I were roommates in Seoul, Korea, where we were among a small minority of female soldiers in the military. We bonded over our common experiences and interests. Janice was 19 and I was 21 when we met. She looked up to me like a big sister. We felt comfortable sharing everything with each other, which we continued to do in letters after my tour ended in Korea, until we reunited a year later. We moved to the Washington D.C. area together, where we supported each other in facing the challenges of school, work, continuing our military careers, and dating.

What challenges did you face when writing about something so personal?

This was an extremely hard book to write. It was challenging to relive the experiences I wrote about from this time in my life. Also, I learned disturbing details while researching the book that I didn’t know at the time. Writing about the roles that others played in the story was difficult, as well. I had a lot of fear about exposing the personal details in the book. The personal and professional support and feedback I received helped me get through it. In the end, I believe everything I wrote about in the book was necessary to tell the story.

You describe the period in which the book is set as ‘a time of rapid social change’ in America. How did this manifest itself for you personally?

Janice and I joined the Army in 1976. The Vietnam War had just ended. Women were beginning to explore careers in non-traditional fields, such as the military. The sexual revolution was redefining the roles women could play beyond marriage and motherhood. Civil rights and race relations were challenging the status quo. Janice and I had to deal with sexism and racism, both of which impacted the investigation into her disappearance.

The book is subtitled ‘A True Story of Friendship, Murder, and Healing’. Can you say more about the healing aspect?

I don’t think I truly began the healing process until I started writing the book. I had buried Janice and that time in my life deep in my subconscious. I numbed my feelings with drugs, alcohol and sex for most of my life. I tried to get clean several times, but I couldn’t be successful in the long-term because I wasn’t dealing with the underlying trauma. When the detective contacted me about writing the book, I had a reason to face my demons.

First, I went to counseling through the VA (Veterans Administration), so I could begin processing the traumatic experiences that I had to write about. Then I went to Narcotics Anonymous meetings with a willingness to commit to the program 100%. The next step was to learn about the craft of writing, in general, and memoir, in particular. I found inspiration and courage by reading many memoirs. I pursued spiritual practices, such as meditation and following spiritual teachers. I started taking better care of myself by exercising and eating better. Healing is an ongoing process for me.

What message would you like readers to take away from the book?

The biggest takeaway I would like readers to get from the book is to be careful about trusting someone too quickly. Take your time to get to know them. Look out for red flags, like they want to get serious too fast, they isolate you from your friends and family, and they make you question your own instincts. Talk to people you trust about the relationship and take their feedback seriously. Follow your gut and your intuition. There are bad people out there looking for someone to take advantage of. They can be very convincing and manipulative.

Another message is don’t be afraid to face trauma from your past. It is probably having a negative impact on your life in ways you don’t even realize. Find support to help you work through it. Writing about it can be very therapeutic, even if you don’t plan to share it with anyone.

Is this the end of your writing journey – or just the beginning?

I hope it is the beginning. I have always wanted to be a writer. I did have a couple of articles published in genealogy journals. I want to write more of those. I’m also considering writing another book about my family history.

Thank you, Eva, for sharing your writing journey with us.

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About the Author

Eva Nevarez St. John was an Army brat, soldier, lawyer, and nonprofit manager. She continues to be a nonprofit consultant, social activist, writer, and genealogist. Eva currently lives in southern New Mexico.

Eva fell in love with books at a young age. She particularly loves to read about the wide range of life experiences and perspectives in memoir. The process of writing When Tough Cookies Crumble: A True Story of Friendship, Murder, and Healing helped her heal from the traumas she wrote about and to grow as a person. Visit Eva’s website for recommendations of other memoirs and resources for writing memoir.

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My guest today on What Cathy Read Next is Amanda K. Jaros whose memoir, In My Boots, is published today by Black Rose Writing. In My Boots is available to purchase as an ebook or paperback from Amazon and other online retailers. Read on as I chat with Amanda about the book and the incredible journey it describes. I’m grateful to Amanda for sharing some photographs taken during her trek that you won’t find in the book.

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About the Book

When Amanda K. Jaros learns about the 2,160-mile Appalachian Trail after college, she walks away from a sheltered life dominated by an angry and volatile father and does something spends six months backpacking. Alone. She expects to pass the time in the solitary and peaceful wilderness, reflecting on her life’s direction. Instead, she finds herself part of a community ripe with stinky socks, buckets of ice cream, and trail magic. What matters on the trail is not a hiker’s past or parents, her fears or failures, but rather, what matters is the connections we make with each other.

In My Boots recounts a challenging physical journey following the trail over the windy balds of the South, through snowstorms in the Smoky Mountain National Park, and above the tree line to the alpine zones of the White Mountains of New Hampshire. The journey is also emotionally transformative as this twenty-three-year-old leaves behind the compliant and scared girl she once was. With each step away from her damaged childhood, each new friend, each stop in another rural trail town, she comes to understand that to succeed on the trail, and in life, it turns out, the path she walks must be her own.

Find In My Boots on Goodreads

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Q & A with Amanda K. Jaros, author of In My Boots

What prompted you to embark on this challenge and why the Appalachian Trail?

When I was just out of college, I got a summer job as a naturalist intern working at Baxter State Park in Maine. There I learned about the Appalachian Trail when I met hikers arriving in the late summer to summit Katahdin, the northern terminus of the AT, within Baxter Park. I’d had a pretty sheltered childhood that was dominated by an angry and volatile father, and I lacked both confidence and direction after graduating college. I knew a 2,160-mile trek from Georgia to Maine would be difficult, but I also knew it was time for me to step out of my shell. The more I learned, the more I felt called to walk the trail.

How did you prepare for the journey?

I knew nothing about backpacking when I decided to hike the trail. I started planning in October for a March start in Georgia. This was back in 1998, when the Internet was just emerging, so I began with books; Jean Deeds’s There are Mountains to Climb was my first inspiration. I then visited a fledgling website called Trailplace, where hikers gathered to talk about the AT. Folks on that site, as well as at the local Eastern Mountain Sports store where I got a part-time job, were instrumental in teaching me outdoors basics. I also invested in a full set of trail maps from the Appalachian Trail Conservancy and a mileage data book so I could plan town stops and mail drops along the route. It was a lot to figure out, but luckily, I love research.

What were the most challenging things you encountered?

Walking up and down the mountains, day after day, in all kinds of weather, for several months, is a huge physical challenge, and there are a heck of a lot of uphill climbs. But eventually, your body adjusts and you get stronger. For me, the mental challenge was even harder. I knew I wanted to be hiking, but it takes a lot of resolve to get up every day and actually do it. There were many, many times I wanted to quit and go home, but the friends I met along the way, the beauty of the natural world I was walking in, and my goal to be a 2000-miler kept me going.

What made you decide to write a book about your experiences?

I thought about writing a book for many years, but life, family, and work responsibilities took precedence for a long time. It wasn’t until I was older and realized what the story was actually about that I decided to write the book. While a long-distance hike is an amazing thing, a memoir needs to tell a deeper story. The story of my hike was based on my childhood foundation with a verbally abusive father, a childhood that stunted me and precluded confidence and self-worth. Setting out on the Appalachian Trail, and succeeding in that endeavour, gave me strength and power I didn’t know I had. At the time, I’m not sure I could have written that story. I needed to grow up more and understand the greater impact the AT had on me before I could really explore it in writing.

What advice would you give to someone thinking about taking on a similar challenge?

Whether you are wanting to hike a long-distance trail or write a book, I would suggest taking some time to look at why you want to do such an activity. Both are big and amazing undertakings, and you’ll need perseverance to do either of them. After you know the why, do your research. Get to know other hikers or writers. Read books and articles. Get outside for some shake-down hikes or start a daily writing practice. Follow your heart, but be prepared.

What message would you like readers to take away from the book?

I hope that readers enjoy the story of a long hike and the magic of the people I met and the experiences I had along the way. But I also hope that the book inspires folks to reach for their own goals, to work to overcome whatever bad circumstances they may be facing and find ways to empower themselves. Not everyone wants to or is able to do something as enormous as hiking the Appalachian Trail, but everyone deserves to follow the path to their dreams and find success and self-love along the way. My wish is that readers close the back cover of the book, smile, and maybe feel a little more hopeful.

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About the Author

Amanda K. Jaros is the editor of Labor of Love: A Literary Mama Staff Anthology and author of 100 Things to Do in Ithaca Before You Die. Her essays on nature and family have appeared in Flyway, Appalachia, Terrain.org, Stone Canoe, and elsewhere. When not writing, she can be found on a trail somewhere, and has hiked the Inca Trail in Peru, several trails in Australia, and is currently working toward completing hikes of the 46 High Peaks in the Adirondacks. She lives in Ithaca, New York, with her husband and son, where she recently took up kayaking and serves her community as a county legislator.

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