#BlogTour #Extract Every Last Fear by Alex Finlay @AriesFiction @HoZ_Books

Welcome to today’s stop on the blog tour for Every Last Fear by Alex Finlay. My thanks to Lauren at Head of Zeus for inviting me to take part in the tour. Every Last Fear is described as “a page-turning thriller” but also “a poignant story about a family managing heartbreak and tragedy, and living through a fame they never wanted” so I’m delighted to bring you the following extract from the book (which does include some swear words).


Extract from Every Last Fear by Alex Finlay

CHAPTER 1 Matt Pine

“Rough night? You look like you slept out here with us.” Matt studied the chessboard, ignoring the weathered black man sitting across from him at the battered table in Washington Square Park. “Ain’t you cold? Where’s your coat?”

“Shush, Reggie,” Matt said, waving the questions away with a hand. “I’m trying to concentrate.” He continued to plot his move on the board. A cool morning breeze pushed through the park, and Matt rubbed his hands together from the chill. It was way too cold for April. Reggie made a sound of amusement in his throat. “Take all day. Ain’t gonna matter.”

In two years Matt hadn’t won a single game against the West Village’s homeless Bobby Fischer. Matt wondered sometimes what had brought the highly intelligent man to the streets, but he never asked. He moved his bishop, capturing the pawn on g7. Reggie shook his head, as if disappointed in him. Eyes on the board, Reggie said, “What, you just getting back from a party or some-thing?”

“Yeah, over at Goddard.” Matt directed his head to Goddard Hall, a washed- brown brick tower just off the park.

“Goddard? Hangin’ with the freshman girls,” Reggie said with a gravelly laugh.

He knew more about NYU than most grad students. Maybe that was it; maybe he’d once attended the university. It was odd because people usually confided in Matt, told them their life stories, their secrets, their problems. He guessed he just had that kind of face. Or maybe it was because he preferred listening, observing, over talking. And boy, could Reggie talk. Yet despite his incessant chatter, Reggie offered no clues about his life before the park. Matt had looked for signs of the backstory. The man kept a green military-looking bag; maybe he’d been a soldier. His hands and nails were always impeccably clean; maybe he’d worked in the medical field. His street talk at times seemed genuine, at times forced. Maybe he was hiding his real identity, on the run, a criminal. Or maybe he was just a guy who’d hit hard times, loved to play chess, and didn’t feel the need to justify his life to an annoying college kid.

“My man. Out all night with the coeds.” Reggie chuckled again. “How’s that pretty redhead of yours feel about that?”

A fair question. But that pretty redhead had broken up with Matt yesterday. Hence too many drinks at Purple Haze. Hence the after-party at Goddard and the frolic upstairs with Deena (or was it Dana?). Hence 7:00 a.m. in the park with bed head and no way to get back into the dorm – his security card, room key, and phone in the pocket of his missing coat.

Reggie moved his rook to g8, then gave a satisfied yellow smile. “I’m startin’ to wonder how you got admitted into that fine institution.” Reggie gazed at the admissions building, the purple NYU flag flapping in the wind.

“Now you’re starting to sound like my father,” Matt said, moving his own rook to e1. His eyes lifted to Reggie’s. “Check.” Reggie moved his king to d8, but it was too late. Queen to g3. Checkmate was inevitable.

“Mother . . .” Reggie said. He called out to a player at one of the other tables. “Yo, Elijah, check this out. Affleck gone and beat me.” Reggie always called Matt “Ben Affleck”- his derogatory shorthand for “white boy.” “Beware the quiet man,” Reggie said, in a tone like a preacher, quoting from something Matt didn’t recognize. “For while others speak, he watches. And while others act, he plans. And when they finally rest, he strikes.” Reggie dropped a wadded bill onto the table.

“I’m not taking your money.” Matt stood, cracked his back. “Hell you ain’t,” Reggie said, flicking the bill toward Matt. “You’re a film student – you’re gonna need it.” He cackled. Matt reluctantly scooped up the money. He looked up at the dark clouds rolling into the city. He loved the smell of an imminent rain. “At least let me get you breakfast at the dining hall. I’ve got some meal swipes left.”

“Nah,” Reggie said. “They didn’t seem so happy last time….” Reggie was right. Limousine liberalism had its limits, as Matt had learned from his time with the privileged student body of New York University. He was an oddity to most of his classmates, an apolitical Midwesterner. “Fuck ’em,” Matt said, gesturing for Reggie to join him, when he heard a familiar voice from behind.

“There you are. We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Matt turned and saw the resident assistant from his dorm. Why would the RA be looking for him? Phillip usually appeared only if the music was too loud or the halls smelled like weed. “There are federal agents at the dorm,” Phillip said, concern in his voice. “They want to talk with you.”

“Agents?”

“Yeah, the FBI showed up at six this morning. They said you’re not answering your phone.”

“What do they want?” Matt asked. It was probably about his older brother. Ever since that fucking documentary, everything was about Danny.

“I don’t know. But if you’re doing something out of the dorm you shouldn’t, I don’t – ”

“Relax, man. I’m not – ” Matt paused, took a breath. “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll go see what they want.” Phillip let out an exasperated sigh and sauntered off.

“You in some trouble?” Reggie asked.

“I guess I’d better go find out. Rain check on breakfast?” Reggie nodded. “Be careful, Affleck. Nothing good ever came of federal agents knocking on your door at six in the mornin’.”

A half hour later Matt sat on his small dorm bed, the room spinning. The lead FBI agent – Matt couldn’t remember her name – was talking again, but it was just a jumble of words. When Matt didn’t respond, the agent knelt in front of him, a concerned look on her face. Her partner, a lean guy in a dark suit, hovered in the background, shifting on his feet.

“I spoke with the dean,” the agent was saying, “and they’ve arranged for a grief counselor. And you don’t have to worry about your classes.” Matt tried to stand, but his legs buckled, blood rushing to his head. The agent guided him back to the bed.

“All of them?” Matt said. She’d told him twice already, but he didn’t believe it. “I’m so sorry.”

Mom. Dad. Maggie. Tommy.

He stood again, said something, then tripped to the bathroom. He dropped to his knees and emptied his guts into the toilet. He hugged the dirty bowl, unsure how long he was there. At some point he heard a soft tap on the door. “I’ll be out in a minute,” he managed. Gripping the sink, he tugged himself up. He turned on the faucet and splashed water on his face, then glanced at his reflection in the mirror. He looked like he felt. Back in the room, the female agent was alone, her partner having cleared out.

“How could something like this happen?” Matt asked, the sound of his voice strange to him, hoarse and distant.

“They think it’s a freak accident, a gas leak. But that’s what we’re trying to get to the bottom of. Both the Bureau and State Department are working on it. We’ve reached out to the Mexican authorities. I know this is the worst possible time, but I need to ask you a few questions.”

Matt sat down again, nodded for her to continue.

“We understand they were on vacation.”

“Uh- huh, spring break for my little sister and brother.” The words caught in his throat. “They decided to go at the last minute. My break didn’t match up, so I couldn’t…” He stopped, fighting back tears.

“When’s the last time you heard from them?”

Matt thought about this. “My mom sent a text from the airport the day they left. Maggie sent one a few days ago.” He felt a stab of guilt. He hadn’t read, much less responded to, his little sister’s text.

“How about your father?”

He shook his head, every part of him numb. They hadn’t spoken since their fight over Christmas break. His heart sank. The last thing Matt had said to him –

“For the timeline – to help us understand things – it’s important that we see those texts. If you don’t mind?”

“Yeah, sure. But my phone, it’s in my coat, which I left somewhere last night.”

“Do you know where?” the agent asked. She was sympathetic, but Matt could tell she was getting impatient.

“I think it’s at the bar.” He’d grabbed the tiny mountain of his clothes before slinking out of the girl’s dorm, so it had to be the bar.

The agent nodded. “I can take you there.”

“I don’t think they’ll be open this early.”

“What’s it called?”

“Purple Haze, on East Thirteenth.”

The agent pulled out her phone and walked to the far end of the room. She looked out the rain-speckled window, murmuring commands to someone. “I don’t care. Just tell them to get somebody there now,” she said, making her way back over to Matt.

“You up to going to the bar with me?” The agent took a few steps toward the door. Trancelike, Matt nodded.

“You want to get a jacket or umbrella? It’s raining.” Matt shook his head and followed her out.

A small crowd had gathered in the hallway, gawking students. Matt didn’t know if word had spread about his family or if they thought he was being arrested for something.

The agent – he still couldn’t conjure her name – pushed ahead to the elevator. Inside, Matt said, “Has the media got this yet?” The agent gave him a knowing look. “It hit the wire, but they haven’t released your last name. They wait a little while to allow time to notify the family.”

“You know what’s gonna happen when they find out, right?” Matt shook his head in disgust. That goddamn Netflix documentary. The agent nodded. The elevator doors spread open and they were met by a mob of reporters and blinding camera flashes.


Finlay_EVERY LAST FEAR_ALLAbout the Book

Keep your family close, because your enemies are closer.

University student Matt Pine has just received devastating news. Nearly his entire family have been found dead while holidaying in Mexico. The local police claim it was an accident, but the FBI aren’t convinced – and they won’t tell Matt why.

The tragedy thrusts his family into the media spotlight again. Seven years ago, Matt’s older brother, Danny, was sentenced to life in prison for murdering his teenage girlfriend. Danny has always sworn he was innocent, and last year, a true crime documentary that claimed he was wrongfully convicted went viral.

Now his family’s murder is overlapping with Danny’s case, Matt is determined to uncover the truth behind the crime that sent his brother to prison. Even if it means putting his own life in danger, and confronting his every last fear.

Format: Hardcover (368 pages)      Publisher: Aries
Publication date: 2nd March 2021 Genre: Thriller

Find Every Last Fear on Goodreads

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About the Author

Alex Finlay is the pseudonym of an author who lives in Washington, D.C. Born in the American South, Alex spent years traversing the globe, from a tropical island in the Pacific to a small village in the UK to a remote region in the Far East. But it was on a trip to Tulum, Mexico that Alex was inspired to write Every Last Fear

Connect with Alex
Website | Instagram | Facebook

 

#Extract One Chance: Surviving London’s Gangs by Terroll Lewis @midaspr

I’m delighted to be joining the launch celebrations for One Chance: Surviving London’s Gangs by Terroll Lewis Published by Ad Lib in hardcover and as an ebook on 21st January 2021, it’s been described as “2021s most inspirational true story”. In advance of publication, I’m able to bring you an extract from the book.  Please be aware it does contain some swear words.


One ChanceAbout the Book

“It’d be easy for me to go back to my old life, but I know where that old life leads you. You’re either behind prison bars or six feet underground.”

Born and raised on Brixton’s notorious Myatt’s Field and Angell Town estates, Terroll Lewis has lived a crazy life. Surrounded by gang culture from an early age, like so many other young inner-city people, he found it hard to resist the lifestyle. By the time he was 15, he had already joined a gang, been stabbed, shot at, and was selling drugs. A chance to play professional football at Stevenage offered him a way out, but the short-term allure of a glamorous street life – the promise of girls, money, and cars – compared to the £50 a week he was being paid to play football, led Terroll back to South London and the notorious OC, or Organised Crime, gang. Violence and drug dealing were the norm in OC, and in 2009, aged 20, Terroll was accused of being involved in an extremely serious crime. After spending 11 months inside Thamesmead’s Belmarsh prison, he was acquitted of all charges and released back into mainstream society, which signalled the start of a new life.

Having used fitness, and calisthenic exercises in particular, as a coping mechanism while in prison, Terroll soon realised there were other people like him who couldn’t pay for a gym membership but still wanted to keep fit. Determined to spread the word further, he created a YouTube video demonstrating his workout regime. The views and messages quickly began rolling in, which encouraged Terroll to start conducting classes in local parks. As his client base grew, so did his ambition and self-belief. Leveraging his rapidly growing social media fame to reinforce his case, Terroll was granted a spot – a converted depot on Somerleyton Road in Brixton – to turn the newly titled Block Workout into a fully-fledged street gym.

Through Block Workout and Brixton Street Gym, Terroll is now able to give something back to the community he was raised in, offering young people an opportunity to follow a different road to the one he took during his adolescence – helping them to develop their minds as well as their bodies – and the chance to live a better life.

Not only is One Chance a truly authentic guide for the urban youth, steering them through the world we live in today – from education and relationships, to jail, social media and mental health issues – it also has the power to educate wider society on the experiences that this frequently demonised demographic face. Whichever form it takes, the aim of the book is to increase understanding on both sides, leading to a more harmonious, progressive, and positive society.

Find One Chance: Surviving London’s Gangs on Goodreads

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Bookshop.org
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Hive | Amazon UK
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Extract from One Chance: Surviving London’s Gangs

Chapter 1: Warming Up

I still laugh when Mum tells me about the moment I was born. I shot into this world at 3.20 p.m. on 14 December 1989 – a Thursday. It rained all day, but the vibe was chilled and festive on the maternity ward, with tinsel everywhere and Christmas music playing. Staff wore reindeer antlers and Santa hats and all that crazy stuff. My dad wasn’t there and Mum’s friend Joy went along instead. This Joy woman had dreads down to her waist, loved her weed and always kept two forks in the back pockets of her jeans. ‘Called ’em her weapons,’ Mum says, ‘and she wouldn’t hesitate to use them, either.’

Respect to Joy: seems she got into the spirit of things, sticking by Mum’s side throughout her thirty-six-hour labour, holding her hand in the delivery room and chatting away as the contractions hit. Though when the gas and air got wheeled in, Joy abused her position of birthing partner. ‘She kept nicking me mask,’ Mum explained, ‘She had more of the stuff than me. She was gasping it down.’ Joy watched the entire delivery through heavy eyelids, swaying as she peered between Mum’s legs. As the midwife cut the umbilical cord and I let out my first piercing cries, Joy staggered backwards, hit the wall, and slowly slumped to the floor, saying, ‘Wow, that was one the most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced, man’.

That evening, brimming with emotion, Mum called my dad’s mum’s house. There had been bad vibes between her and Terence, but he she had just delivered their child, her first-born. He had a son now and Mum wanted to be the one to tell him so. She shambled out of the ward to the nearest payphone. A woman answered, but Mum didn’t recognise the voice. It definitely wasn’t the Jamaican accent of Terence’s mother,  Big Mama June. Nah,this girl sounded young and cockney. Rude ’n’ all.

‘Who are you? What d’ya want Terence for?’ she snapped. Mum went, ‘I’m Jakki and I’ve just given birth to Terence’s first child. It’s a boy. I just wanted to let him know, in case he wants to see his son … or something?’ The line fell silent for a few seconds, then the girl exhaled loudly.

‘What d’ya mean? What baby? I’m Alison and I’ve got Terence’s baby: I had our girl Sasha in October. Is this a wind-up or what?’

Mum almost dropped the receiver. She was gutted. She suspected my dad had been cheating on her with Sharon, but she hadn’t imagined he’d have another girl on the go at the same time, let alone have a kid with her.

‘Just tell Terence I’ve had the baby,’ she said and hung up.

I was sound asleep in one of those plastic cot things when my dad arrived at the hospital. Mum had drifted off but was woken by the sound of shouting and swearing on the ward. A bloke was going off, audibly pissed, his voice instantly recognisable to Mum. A nurse hurried over.

‘Ms Doherty, I’m sorry but there’s a black man in reception who says he’s the father of your …’

‘I wanna see my fucking son. I’m the father, I’m his fucking father.’

Boom, there he was, staggering towards us, beating his fist into his palm. Eyes blazing, rain-soaked locks bouncing about his head, reeking of booze: my dad. He was there less than a minute before security guards told him to leave. Mum says he was so drunk she couldn’t even have a simple conversation with him, let alone confront him over Alison and the ‘other baby’ drama.

‘He stormed out of there, hollering, “I’m gonna wet the baby’s head,”’ Mum says.


Terroll LewisAbout the Author

Terroll Lewis is the founder of the Brixton Street Gym, a charity-based community gym that has gained a huge cult following in the short time that it has been around. He also founded the BlockWorkOut Foundation – the charitable base that supports this amazing gym, making it accessible to everyone regardless of income – and The ManTalk, an online platform that promotes male positivity.

Terroll had been embroiled in some of the most serious street gang warfare even seen in London, leading a band of armed and dangerous young men through the streets of the city, a wild time that ended in him being accused of murder. He was eventually acquitted of the crime and proven innocent, but is thankful for his time in prison, as it enabled him to re-evaluate his life and come out a better man, the man he is today. Terroll Lewis was named an Evening Standard Next Generation Trailblazer and included in Men’s Health Inspirational Black Men of 2020.